The greatest gift a parent can give a child, Karen, is the ability to become independently happy.

And the greatest gift a child can give a parent is exercising that ability.

This is a good note for me today. I think I have mentioned previously that our 2 year old granddaughter (2.5 in just a few more weeks) is living with us now, along with her mommy. Her mommy (our daughter) is going back to college for a degree, along with working part-time. So while Mommy is away from home and/or studying, Grandma (or rather Mum-Mum) gets the care of little Miss Munchkin. And it just so happens that Mum-Mum is in great demand even when Mommy is available. Most days, I don’t mind. Some days I do. I find it quite a different matter to have care of a toddler again at (close to) age 50 than I did at age 25. My patience level is not what it was and it seems that my hormones usually coincide with her bad days / teething days. Not a good combination, believe you me!

Miss Munchkin is normally pretty good at playing on her own, but she is only two and I have to continually remind myself of that as she pulls on my arm, wanting Mum-Mum to do this or that with her. Usually it’s just as I am attempting to click on something or do a cut-and-paste on the computer and the tug on my arm throws the mouse into some direction that I had no intention of taking it. Plus she is just beginning to string words together into full sentences and many words are still not decipherable without actually seeing what she wants or needs or having her give the ASL sign. But she’s gaining on the language ability and I will keep working on my patience level. I thought I had this patience thing down to an art with my own children, but I guess I need more practice in its application!

In the coming months I will be chronicling Miss Munchkin’s unschooling adventures here, since she is the next generation unschooler in our household. My focus for many years has been on unschooling high school (transcripts, resources, preparation for college), but our youngest finished his homeschooling this spring, at just about the same time that Miss Munchkin moved in. So now my focus has turned to toddlerhood and the preschooling years. So stay tuned — see how well Mum-Mum makes the mental and physical leap from high school to preschool – and what new insights on unschooling Miss Munchkin will give Mum-Mum!

I have not had a chance to do any more than just scan the titles and descriptions of each blog post included in this month’s carnival, but I will definitely be spending my free moments this week reading more in depth. These few intrigue me right off the bat:

• ChristineMM challenges us to take a hard look at our standards, in Controversial Article About Homeschooler’s Abilities On My Mind posted at The Thinking Mother.
• Katherine gives her review of a great resource for the preschool set: Kumon Workbooks, at No fighting, no biting! (Since it looks like I’ll be unschooling a preschooler the next year or two, I have been looking more at preschool activities, etc.)
• NerdMom beautifully address an issue near and dear to my heart in The First Key to Homeschooling and Not Losing It over at Nerd Family.
• Teresa Wymore talks about the value of great literature (and don’t miss her insightful expose on public school teaching!) in harry potter and homeschool posted at Flesh & Spirit.
• Living By Learning shares some insight about A Game Ethics Lesson from The Karate Kid at On Living By Learning. (I have read this article and left at least one comment. We’ve been having a great discussion on Game Ethics!)

Thanks, Tiffany, for gathering together a great looking bunch of bloggers and blog posts! And for all you visiting homeschool bloggers, please consider visiting my LeapingFromTheBox.com website for more homeschool information, elists & support groups, and articles on unschooling and homeschooling! Thanks for visiting!

Hello! We decided to homeschool before my first was born. Along the way we discovered unschooling and it was a perfect fit…for mom and dad. My daughter, now 5, wants to go to school so unbelievably bad. At first I was appalled, but I have since warmed to the idea out of necessity. I don’t want my daughter to feel that she will be missing out on something she wants so badly…”because I said so!” I have tried to lay out the pros and cons as non-biased as possible, but I find myself highlighting the pros of unschooling (and homeschooling in general) way more, on accident, and later feel as if I am spreading propaganda rather than being honest about the situation.

This has to be one of the strangest parenting dilemmas. “Should my child go to school? (with parental hopes and dreams being that she chooses to not attend).” I guess if we choose to help her find her own path and attend public school, we would definitely be considered radical unschoolers. I just don’t know how to make sense of it in my head, and essentially to my daughter. I don’t want to push her either way. I just never thought I would ever face this kind of situation, given that most kids would love to have the option to NOT attend school.

Also, if she does attend, do I push her to do her homework and study, etc. I am so confused.

One more thing…we have a great local unschool group that is very active and hosts monthly events for every interest.

Any input will be welcomed. Thanks sooooo much!

First off, your statement that “most kids would love to have the option to NOT attend school” would apply more to children that have already attended school, not to those who have never been. Television and other aspects of our society (media) have worked diligently to make public school in general and Preschool / Kindergarten in particular appear very appealing to young children. It is not at all unusual for young children to be excited about going to school, where they can do all the things the big kids do!

The Main Decision

Your main decision seems to be whether or not to allow your daughter to attend public school. Once you decide that, then you can deal with your other concerns. In order to make that decision, you need to examine your feelings and beliefs about public school. Do you homeschool due to a belief that public schools are inherently injurious to children’s spirits? Or do you view homeschooling as just one of many possible ways to educate, neither better nor worse than any other form?

Some parents equate public school with playing in the road. While it may seem harmless at first, the dangers are there and by the time you see them coming, it is too late and the damage (sometimes permanent) is done. If you feel that public school is a danger to your daughter’s health and well-being, then your decision is made for you — you homeschool her, regardless of what she wants to do. At her young age, your daughter does not have the maturity or experience to make such a large, important decision.

If you feel that public school is a perfectly viable alternative to homeschooling, then allowing your daughter to try public school would seem to be a logical decision. Based upon the experience with my children, some children really enjoy public school during those early elementary years, while others absolutely do not thrive there. But even in the best of public schools, there will be issues, some of which you may hear about from your child, many that you will not. I was very surprised and disturbed by some of the stories I heard from my children even several years after I removed them from public school. I like to think that, if I had known at the time all that was going on, I would have removed them years earlier.

Finding Out Why She Wishes To Attend Public School

You might try to find out why your daughter wants to go to public school. I have had friends whose children wanted nothing more than a back pack like all the other kids that go to public school. Or they wanted a lunch pail. Or to ride the school bus. One even wanted a menu of what lunch would be each day of the week. It can be amusing to find out just what the child’s expectations are about Kindergarten or Preschool or Public School. If it is something as simple as having a backpack to carry around, that is easily solved.

I also know some families that have done a complete “school day” at home, so their children would know what school was really like. The reality of having to get up early, catch the bus (they actually strapped everyone into the car and made the trek to school), stay seated all day, ask for permission to go to the bathroom, etc., was much more than the children had anticipated and long before the end of the day, they were more than happy to be homeschooled.

If Attending, What To Do About Homework and Studying

Again, you have options here, depending upon your philosophies and beliefs about education, public school, etc. Some families whose children opt for public school do so knowing that they can homeschool at any time. The parents do not care about grades and wish that the child get out of public school what they desire and/or need at the time. Other families insist that, if their children go to public school, they agree to the rules of the game and therefore are expected to do their homework and worry about their grades. Some even insist that the child commit to a full year if they decide to go to public school. Of course, at the Kindergarten age, I doubt that a child that young can understand that type of commitment or whether the parent would want to insist upon completing a full year in public school if they felt it was harming their child in some way.

Guilty of Spreading Unschooling Propaganda?

We all have our biases, based upon our beliefs and experiences, and they will come out, no matter how hard we try to be neutral in our speaking. You want to homeschool, you want your child to be unschooled, so it is only natural that you present that idea in a better light than you do public school. As long as you are trying to be balanced, that is the best you can do. No one can ask for more. Quite honestly, after experiencing life with my children in public school and then homeschooling, I doubt I would be at all balanced in trying to convince a child of mine not to attend public school.

Unschooling Support Group

You are lucky, indeed, to have an active unschooling support group locally. If your family decides to continue homeschooling, be sure to plan something fun for that first day back of public school. Many homeschoolers plan a “not back to school” day, including swimming, park days, ice cream, whatever you can think of to celebrate your freedom from the public school schedule for the coming year!

Best of luck with your decision. Be sure to write back and let us know what you decide!

For ideas about homeschooling / unschooling Kindergarten, check out my Do You Need To Teach Kindergarten? article.

“What curriculum do you suggest for Kindergarten?”

This is a question I am frequently asked by parents. It is also a question I find particularly difficult to provide a quick, easy response to. The truth is I do not believe that a curriculum is necessary for Kindergarten, but that usually is not the answer parents are looking for or expect. They are certain that Kindergarten is that magical time when suddenly what was “life” must become “education” and therefore needs to include workbooks, textbooks, and organized lessons. So they are hoping I will have ideas and suggestions for an organized course of study all laid out in black and white.

To read more, check out my newly updated article “Do You Need to Teach Kindergarten?”

Other recently updated articles include:

• Valid Reasons for Homeschooling
• Unschooling High School
• Fish Activities Without Water
• Adding Fish To Your World

• Rap and HipHop music (although upon closer listening, there are some similarities between rap and bluegrass)
• Chainsaw / gory / psychological thriller movies
• The fascination with certain “stars” who have done little to nothing to deserve that term
• Preschool

Now I realize that many parents have to work and they figure their children will be more prepared academically for kindergarten and be better socialized in a preschool setting than in a daycare setting. Doesn’t that sound odd? “Be more prepared academically for kindergarten?” Not all that many years ago Kindergarten prepared you for first grade. You did not have to prepare FOR Kindergarten.

What I do not understand is why a parent who chooses to stay at home to raise their child should feel that child would be better off enrolled in a preschool. If you can read and interact with your child, then you can teach your child everything he/she will need to know. It really is not that difficult. Read to them a little bit every day. Talk to them like they are an intelligent human being, rather than your puppy dog. Well, maybe I should not say that because I have seen some people who talk to their dog on a higher vocabulary level than they do their children. Just don’t baby-talk all the time to your child. Involve your child in your every day activities. Let them help with the laundry, sweeping the floor, changing the baby’s diapers, whatever your daily tasks may be. And talk to them while doing so. Explain what you are doing and why. Involve them. Interact with them. It might be fun!

As for socializing, children are much better socialized from being around adults, especially their own family members, and especially the first several years of their lives. Did our pioneers worry about their children’s socialization? For that matter, did our grandparents have preschool? Did our parents? I certainly did not have preschool and I was more than ready for kindergarten when the time came. At what point did preschool become a standard practice? I guess I was bucking the trend when my children were that age, almost twenty years ago. Some days I sure am beginning to feel old!